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ONE WORD Gary says millions of couples have pledged “to love and to cherish” their spouses in their wedding vows Most people understand the love part, but many don’t know what it means to cherish their spouse. Gary believes by exploring what it means to cherish our spouse, we will enrich and spiritually strengthen our marriages. He says love is the backbone, but cherish puts a polish on the relationship. “I felt convicted by God that I was loving and not cherishing my wife,” says Gary. Once he decided to cherish Lisa, their relationship changed. “Marriage is a lot more pleasant when you cherish the person you’re married to,” says Gary.

Cherishing isn’t easy to do. Gary reminds us of the scripture in Romans 12:2 “…be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” “It’s a new mindset,” he says. It’s vital to look at our spouses as if he or she is the only man or woman in the world. “Let her be, in your mind, the only woman in the world. That eliminates comparisons,” says Gary. Start showcasing your spouse. Gary likens cherishing in a marriage to a couple dancing ballet. The best male ballet dancer knows that his role is to showcase the female dancer’s beauty. A female ballerina can do and attempt more than she could in a solo endeavor with a gifted male dancer beside her. “Our job is to showcase our spouse’s best sides so they can become and do more than they ever could do on their own,” he says.

Dr. Hugh Ross is a Canadian astro-physicist who has spoken at Gary’s church, Second Baptist. Gary learned from Dr. Ross that he functions on the high end of the austistic spectrum. When Gary talked to Dr. Ross’ wife, Kathy, he learned that she looked for ways to help her husband and did so even before they were married. Dr. Ross is passionate about science and God and his intellect has opened many doors, but his autistic tendencies impaired his influence. So Kathy helped him get a haircut, change his style of clothing and helped him learn to look at people when he talked. Soon she felt her heart moving romantically toward Dr. Ross who also found his heart yearning for Kathy. Too. They dated, married and today have been faithfully serving the Lord together for decades!

PRACTICE CHERISHING Gary says the opposite of love is apathy. He says the opposite of cherish is contempt. “We are either ascending towards cherish or descending towards contempt,” says Gary. There is no status quo in relationships; we cannot remain the same. “Contempt is the default position if we don’t consciously cherish our spouse,” he says. Practice cherishing your spouse. If you cherish a car, you wax it to protect it. In social circumtances, protect your spouse. Once, Gary says one of his friends and spouse were running late. That husband was quick to point out it was his wife who made them late. Gary reminded his friend that this behavior was wrong. The key to cherishing is in James 3:2. “We all stumble in many ways.” Gary says we are asked to cherish someone who messes up a lot. “Preach the gospel to yourself every day,” he says. “When you receive God’s favor, you can pass it on to your spouse.” Otherwise, we have a tendency to draw what we need from our spouses instead of God. “I need to receive from God every day,” says Gary. “That way I know God still delights in me no matter what I’ve done. If I can do that for myself, I can do that for others.”

Gary says the more he cherishes his wife, the easier and more natural it becomes for him. “The more you do it, the more it happens,” he says. “I wrote the book when I honestly felt like was something that could be learned."

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ONE WORD Gary says millions of couples have pledged “to love and to cherish” their spouses in their wedding vows Most people understand the love part, but many don’t know what it means to cherish their spouse. Gary believes by exploring what it means to cherish our spouse, we will enrich and spiritually strengthen our marriages.
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Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.

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Gary Thomas
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Author of 18 books which have sold over 1 million copies and been translated into more than a dozen languages

En Español
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Which treatments are used for breast cancer?

There are several ways to treat breast cancer, depending on its type and stage.

Local treatments: Some treatments are local , meaning they treat the tumor without affecting the rest of the body. Types of local therapy used for breast cancer include:

Systemic treatments: Drugs used to treat breast cancer are considered systemic therapiesbecause they can reach cancer cells almost anywhere in the body. They can be given by mouth or put directly into the bloodstream. Depending on the type of breast cancer, different types of drug treatmentmight be used, including:

Many women get more than one type of treatment for their cancer.

How is breast cancer typically treated?

Most women with breast cancer will have some type of surgery to remove the tumor. Depending on the type of breast cancer and how advanced it is, you might need other types of treatment as well, either before or after surgery, or sometimes both.

Typically, treatment plans are based on the type of breast cancer, its stage, and any special situations:

Your treatment plan will depend on other factors as well, including your overall health and personal preferences.

Who treats breast cancer?

Doctors on your cancer treatment team might include:

Many other specialists might be part of your treatment team as well, including physician assistants, nurse practitioners, nurses, psychologists, social workers, nutritionists, genetic counselors, and other health professionals. See Health Professionals Associated With Cancer Care for more on this.

Making treatment decisions

It’s important to discuss all of your treatment options, including their goals and possible side effects, with your doctors to help make the decision that best fits your needs. It’s also very important to ask questions if there is anything you’re not sure about. See Questions to Ask Your Doctor About Breast Cancer for ideas.

Getting a second opinion

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. This can give you more information and help you feel more certain about the treatment plan you choose. If you aren’t sure where to go for a second opinion, ask your doctor for help.

Thinking about taking part in a clinical trial

Clinical trials are carefully controlled research studies that are done to get a closer look at promising new treatments or procedures. Clinical trials are one way to get state-of-the art cancer treatment. In some cases they may be the only way to get access to newer treatments. They are also the best way for doctors to learn better methods to treat cancer. Still, they are not right for everyone.

If you would like to learn more about clinical trials that might be right for you, start by asking your doctor if your clinic or hospital conducts clinical trials. See Clinical Trials to learn more.

Considering complementary and alternative methods

You may hear about alternative or complementary methods to treat your cancer or relieve symptoms that your doctor hasn’t mentioned.

These methods can include vitamins, herbs, and special diets, or other methods such as acupuncture or massage, to name a few. Be sure to talk to your cancer care team about any method you are thinking about using. They can help you learn what is known (or not known) about the method, which can help you make an informed decision. Although some of these methods might be helpful in relieving symptoms or helping you feel better, many have not been proven to work. Some might even be dangerous. See Complementary and Alternative Medicine to learn more.

Choosing to stop treatment or choosing no treatment at all

For some people, when treatments have been tried and are no longer controlling the cancer, it could be time to weigh the benefits and risks of continuing to try new treatments. Whether or not you continue treatment, there are things you can do to help maintain or improve your quality of life. Learn more in If Cancer Treatments Are No Longer Working.

Some people, especially if the cancer is advanced, might not want to be treated at all. There are many reasons people might choose to not get cancer treatment, but it’s important to talk to your doctors and make that decision. Remember that even if you choose not to treat the cancer, you can still get supportive care to help with pain or other symptoms.

Help getting through breast cancer treatment

Your cancer care team will be your first source of information and support, but there are many places you can get more help if you need it. Hospital- or clinic-based support services are an important part of your care. These might include nurse or social work services, financial aid, nutritional advice, rehab, or spiritual help.

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– including rides to treatment, lodging, and more – to help you get through treatment. Call us at 1-800-227-2345 and speak to one of our trained cancer information specialists.

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